20 January, 2010

Go Die !

I stand at the edge now. Giving up all I have, or maybe the ‘nothing’ that I’ve achieved. People whom I know and otherwise have their fingers pointing towards me making weird gestures. What a chaos! My mind’s thinking too loud for me to even listen to their pleas. All I can hear is my heart beating in my head, loud and clear. Why are they even concerned about me? Do I owe them anything? I have done enough wrongs and I cannot take this shit anymore. I hate my life. There’s nothing right that’s happening and I know I’m a burden to my parents. Look at these people begging to me right now.. Should I give up my life? I guess ..

To witness a suicide is an experience in itself. I saw one today and I was cold for hours. A girl standing on the parapet of a 7-storey high building, facing towards the entrance of the terrace only to see people screaming, begging and pleading not to jump.

I was unquestionably disturbed by the sight. I had the feeling of my head going totally numb, mouth dry and way too startled to say a word, eyes stuck on the girl. If she would’ve jumped, I was sure to be psychologically disturbed coz of the pre-jump time spent on staring at the nerve wrecking scenario and thinking WHY!? When she turned her back towards the concerned crowd screaming at her, a man stealthily moved behind her, grabbed her and got her down. If she was my friend I would’ve definitely punched her hard enough to make her unconscious, nevertheless, she fell unconscious right after she was ‘saved’. Kudos, to the man who saved her though.


I often read articles in the newspaper vis-√†-vis suicides and that, is one thing that I discontinue reading right after the headline. Its a big turn off and lately this suicide thing has become way too pass√©. There’s only one sentence that ALWAYS rings in my head: Fucking losers! Don’t have the balls to live. Teenage students giving up on life. Reasons - myriad. Academic stresses, relationship brawls, family traumas, peer pressure to name a few. If someone has the guts to come down to a decision and commit suicide it just needs one itsy bitsy teeeeny tiny of extra guts to live life as well! They say, failure is one thing that directly affects the ego and sense of identity in relation to the world around us. I honestly wonder how the girl is gonna live now! I don’t want/like to fill my blog with advice crap but if I have to sum it up:: God! I feel like confucius. :|

There’s always a solution to a problem, you just have to dig a little deeper every time it gets difficult. Mistakes are fun; just do them differently every single time! Life is one divine chaos. Try and make the best sound! :)

I wonder what would be the feeling of standing there and looking down. It’s something that I can only imagine coz I, have got, a basket full of things that I have to do in this lifetime and I aint going anywhere without doing them! ;)

The word suicide should be sued! :P

Ps: details about the situation are not mentioned on purpose. I don't wish to disclose them either. Thank You for not asking.