Go Die !

I stand at the edge now. Giving up all I have, or maybe the ‘nothing’ that I’ve achieved. People whom I know and otherwise have their fingers pointing towards me making weird gestures. What a chaos! My mind’s thinking too loud for me to even listen to their pleas. All I can hear is my heart beating in my head, loud and clear. Why are they even concerned about me? Do I owe them anything? I have done enough wrongs and I cannot take this shit anymore. I hate my life. There’s nothing right that’s happening and I know I’m a burden to my parents. Look at these people begging to me right now.. Should I give up my life? I guess ..

To witness a suicide is an experience in itself. I saw one today and I was cold for hours. A girl standing on the parapet of a 7-storey high building, facing towards the entrance of the terrace only to see people screaming, begging and pleading not to jump.

I was unquestionably disturbed by the sight. I had the feeling of my head going totally numb, mouth dry and way too startled to say a word, eyes stuck on the girl. If she would’ve jumped, I was sure to be psychologically disturbed coz of the pre-jump time spent on staring at the nerve wrecking scenario and thinking WHY!? When she turned her back towards the concerned crowd screaming at her, a man stealthily moved behind her, grabbed her and got her down. If she was my friend I would’ve definitely punched her hard enough to make her unconscious, nevertheless, she fell unconscious right after she was ‘saved’. Kudos, to the man who saved her though.


I often read articles in the newspaper vis-à-vis suicides and that, is one thing that I discontinue reading right after the headline. Its a big turn off and lately this suicide thing has become way too passé. There’s only one sentence that ALWAYS rings in my head: Fucking losers! Don’t have the balls to live. Teenage students giving up on life. Reasons - myriad. Academic stresses, relationship brawls, family traumas, peer pressure to name a few. If someone has the guts to come down to a decision and commit suicide it just needs one itsy bitsy teeeeny tiny of extra guts to live life as well! They say, failure is one thing that directly affects the ego and sense of identity in relation to the world around us. I honestly wonder how the girl is gonna live now! I don’t want/like to fill my blog with advice crap but if I have to sum it up:: God! I feel like confucius. :|

There’s always a solution to a problem, you just have to dig a little deeper every time it gets difficult. Mistakes are fun; just do them differently every single time! Life is one divine chaos. Try and make the best sound! :)

I wonder what would be the feeling of standing there and looking down. It’s something that I can only imagine coz I, have got, a basket full of things that I have to do in this lifetime and I aint going anywhere without doing them! ;)

The word suicide should be sued! :P

Ps: details about the situation are not mentioned on purpose. I don't wish to disclose them either. Thank You for not asking.


sulo badri said…
oh my! tht shd have rly been a terrible sight...

vry well said blahs or anu is it?! nt sure of ur name :? .. u bet the sight wd make anyones head go numb :/
I agree with you totally babe. I do not know WHY people think that ending their precious lives is the answer to all their problems. Yaar, tension lene ka nahi, dene ka :P Yeh apni philosophy hai ;)

And I have had someone who had once done something extremely stupid.. And well, I WAS THE REASON FOR IT. When I got to know I was like WTF! So people, if you're thinking of committing suicide then you better think of what all troubles you would be leaving behind for people who don't even have the idea what you're up to!
Sachin said…
Judgementle , i would say. Just think that is the person who is abt to commit a suicide not aware of this "have the guts and balls" talks or has he not heard of any suicide before. He has and still he decides on it. I sometimes try to think what is the state of mind of a person who is abt to commit the heinous act on himself.
@p@rn@ said…
well said...

and I totally agree with you. Suicide is not an answer for ANY problem that life might put in front of you.

One might think they are not answerable to others.. But you feel the pain only when (God forbid) you are on the other side and witness this happening to someone you know.

I'm still trying to come out of the shock of losing 3 people together (not one frnd but his entire family) only coz HE could not handle the so-called depression anymore.

SUCH people think by taking such a step they'll save their parents, friends n others of the torture of what ever the reason might be. But they don't realize the life-long agony that they'll leave behind...
:: Pearly :: said…
@ sulo ..

terrible.. and absolutely numb! :|
btw, I'm Anu :)
:: Pearly :: said…
@ ash...

double thumbs up babe! ..
:: Pearly :: said…
@ sachin

the thought of suicide itself is selfishness... its is so sad to only think about his own self and forget other blood relations and leave them with a pain they have to deal with life long! ...
i can never favour an person who's committing suicide ... no matter how crude the problems are in their life!
:: Pearly :: said…
@ APARNA ...
damn now thats trauma! ..
i was in shock for a while when i was watching..after that it kinda pissed me off even the thought of it! ..
Shane Fernandes said…
lol....i seen da vid....
da sight ws disturbin bt da ppl standin by had funny commnts....thnk god she dnt hear any of em or she be in 1 of dose nets down wid dier foolish words of encouragmnt ..... :P
Naina Sethi said…
Nice blog ! LOVE reading it, its very interesting !
I write for a fashion blog. You should follow me too-enrapturenow.blogspot.com
Sid said…
Hey my first time here... Good post
Haddock said…
Different people have diff opinion about the whole thing, but one thing is certain, we have a very small life on this earth (the one and only life), if we can't make the best of it, then we ourselves are to blame.

There I go preaching.
Rohan said…
Ola...!! Well I dunno how to comment on this..I have thought about committing suicide many a times, a lot of times actually in like a year or 2 back, I know you ll think i am a loser :(

Its at these times which psychiatrist's refer to as depression is when your brain stops differentiating between the right and the wrong, the good and the bad, the problem or the consequence. All you see is the end of your misery.

Its not that these people want to die, its just that they are under depression and its an illness in itself and you will be a totally a different person from what you are when you are under this bad bad mental depressive state of mind.

Believe you me, how much ever I explain it to you, you wont know how it feels unless you pass through it. To feel the situation, you need to be "in the situation'.

This girl is not a loser, she just needs treatment, love and care in life, dont think about these people as total idiots, they are not.

Ps: I am sorry if I sound like I was promoting her suicide move, i am not, I know all this because I have been through the entire 9 yards and some do get the courage to take the final step, some dont. and yes I am a better person now after the war in the head is over.

:: Pearly :: said…
@ shane...
yeah i know! :P :D

@ naina..
thanks girl..!
will surely visit! :)

@ sid
keep visiting! :)
:: Pearly :: said…
@ haddock..
it sure is that way!.. though very few people realize how precious this life is! :)

@ rohan
keep visitng..
thanks for posting on facebook and talking this out! :)

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